Dimmed Light
by SapphireBlue14
Summary: Tomoya finds himself in hospital after having a brain tumour. He develops amnesia and doesn't remember anything. His promise was to be stronger but instead leads to an alternate direction.Set at the end of Tomoyo After.


I've started up a with a new fanfiction from the VN Tomoyo After which was a spin-off of Clannad It involves Tomoya and Tomoyo as the main couple (which is my favourite) and a different story to what Clannad adapted. To those who have read/played the VN, like Clannad, you could choose alternate routes but this one is going to slightly edge off most of the details in the VN and be a straightforward sad story as there were times in Tomoyo After I got very confused so I would simplify it. To those who have not read the novel suggest you don't read this fanfiction as to avoid spoilers

I have fics for Angel Beats and Special A coming up soon and will do more for Clannad. Hope you make the most of it!

WARNING: If you don't like sad stories then don't read this as this is VERY sad.

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Tomoya's POV

A white light. Just above me. Really gleaming in my eyes. I blink twice. I can't make out what it is because of my blurry vision. I try to get up but the pain in my head is so bad I fall back automatically.

"Stay down. You'll only make it worse."

A voice said that. I don't know who. I close my eyes again. Blank. Then I open them. Light. Visually blinding me. I groan as the pain is still horribly bad.

"You need to stay down. Don't get up." said the voice again.

I started hyperventilating, completely unaware of what was happening to me.

"You've had a terrible incident Okazaki." said the same voice again. "Stressing yourself is not the way to ease the pain."

A woman then put an oxygen mask on me as I was having trouble breathing. She comforted me with words as I steadily breathed, my lack of oxygen decreasing. "His breathing's low." She said, her voice filled with worry. "And so is his blood level."

"We'll have to take some major operations." said the man firmly who I assumed was a doctor for I could just make it out on his name badge and the woman a nurse. "It's not going to be too risky is it?" asked the nurse. The doctor frowned. "It might be, as his blood level is extremely low. It's a terrible tumour so chances are unlikely."

I just manage to catch what they were saying. I decided that I didn't have a long time to live. I moaned slightly. The pain wasn't getting any better at all.

"Don't give in Okazaki-san. You can do it if you are strong." Said another voice. A woman's voice. I could just make out where she was. She was in a bed next to mine.

"Who are you?" I asked. "And what did you say my name was?"

The old woman was sitting up. "Your name is Tomoya Okazaki.I'm Karin Matsue. I met you a few months ago when you repaired my house insulation. Don't you remember? You always saw me later after that. I was ever so grateful by the remarkable job you had done with it."

I shook my head. "No. I don't remember it." I said weakly.

The old woman stared and then she knew. "You've got amnesia." she said sadly and dropped her gaze. "If I had known."

"What's amnesia?" I asked.

"Memory loss" explained Karin softly. "It occurs mainly when you've had a bad incident on hard concrete and knocks you out and you can't remember anything. You don't even remember your own name or who you are so it's definite you've got amnesia."

"How.. did I get it?" I asked slowly, the pain still excruciating.

"I don't know about that, Tomoya. Whatever caused you to have that tumour is mysterious to me. You're going to have it removed soon, as the doctor had said earlier on."

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I've had to have a liver transplant" explained Karin. "I have a feeling I don't have much long to live either, unless it can be undertaken. The new organs may need to be rejected which could only make it more complicated."

I put my hand to my head and felt a big lump. That must have been where the tumour was. And the pain revealed itself from there. I didn't know what I had done to get it. I didn't know what I had been doing.

The infirmary door then opened and the doctor came in.

"Someone here to see you Mr Okazaki" he said. A young woman, of my age, walked into the ward. She was absolutely beautiful. She had straight silver-greyish hair, magnificent blue eyes and smooth facial features. She walked towards me with a look of deep anxiety on her face.

"Tomoya" she said as she sat down beside me.

I stared at her. "Who are you?" I asked.

The woman stared back in surprise. "Tomoya, it's me. I'm Tomoyo, your partner! Your fiancé! What happened-"

"He's got amnesia" said Karin behind her.

Tomoyo spun round. "Amnesia?"

"It's unknown to me how he got it. It varies in all circumstances."

Tomoyo looked back at me with tears in her eyes.

"I don't even know what had caused that to happen to you. From the moment the bullet had hit you-"

My memory kept ringing in my head but I couldn't remember anything.

"What bullet?" I asked my head tilted in confusion.

"Someone nearly shot you and it just hit your head. But you had made a very bad fall" Tears streamed down Tomoyo's face as she took my bandaged hand.

"You sacrificed yourself for me. And you don't know it. You don't know that promise we made together. We would both become stronger, and you always urged me to go on, even if you couldn't make it. I always had something to accomplish, the life of my brother, my half-sister, but most of what I achieved was from you. You know I could never live without you. We both had the same dream and can never make it this far because of.. of.. oh, it's so stupid! I just don't see this happening anymore!" She was literally now sobbing and Karin dropped her gaze.

I looked sideways, avoiding Tomoyo. "That's what it might be. I had been through many phases before but was this intended? I have had many dreams before, but.. I'm not so sure if it had been the same as yours. If only I could find what all this really meant to us."

Tomoyo smiled, her eyes still brimming with tears. "Tomoya darling, you had followed your own way here and before you entered my life, there wasn't anything you had wanted to accomplish. You had almost reached it. You had done your best to make it this far. But you're on the verge of losing it all over again. And that was not what we promised. We both promised that both of us would become stronger."

She reached out her hand and spread out her fingers like a fan. I reached up and took my hand in hers, tenderly holding it. I noticed my wedding ring was still on my third finger, as was her's.

The promise of a wedding ring. I don't remember when we even got married. In fact, I don't even realise if there was someone who actually wanted a useless person like me. I had nothing to live for and nothing I had wanted to do in life. But I found out there was something I could do. I could protect and love someone and fight my way in for them. That's what I did for Tomoyo. But it didn't seem that would go on for long. Marriage was to be for eternity.

I dropped my hand and slowly closed my eyes. I was so tired. I didn't have any strength to talk to Tomoyo for long. Until she lightly touched my hand again. "I understand Tomoya." She sniffed. "You want to be left alone. This is all getting too much for you isn't it? I'll leave you for now."

The nurses escorted Tomoyo out the ward, one putting a comforting arm around her.

XXXXXXXXXXX

I woke up next morning, still feeling horrible. I felt sick. It must have been all that treatment. I caught a glimpse of the bed next to me. It was empty. Karin wasn't there. My heart sank and I suddenly felt sick again. The doctor came in with a bed covered with a blanket. Karin had seemed to go under an operation. I had to go through another major operation to remove the tumour but I was close enough to dying.

I then felt my head. It was still painful, but surprisingly, it wasn't as painful as yesterday. It might have been because I finally figured out what I was doing and where I was. Tomoyo wasn't allowed in until another few days. Maybe not even next week. I lay back down, the bad memories flooding back and distracting me again. I closed my eyes again to let time pass. In less than 4 hours, I would be in there.

_1 week later_

Tomoyo visited me again in the infirmary. She had come to take me home. "You would much rather settle down at home than here. You have somewhere quiet to spend the rest of your night, and with me beside you." She said gently as she gave me a kiss on my cheek. I smiled back at her.

"Yeah. I missed you Tomoyo"

Tomoyo stared at me. Then she beamed and hugged me. "Oh Tomoya! You remember me!"

I lightly chuckled. "Now I'm almost forgetting about my amnesia the other day. It's strange isn't it?"

Tomoyo smiled and patted my arm. "You still feeling light-headed?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I sometimes can't see things very well. My vision is blinding out a bit."

Tomoyo looked at me with deep sadness in her eyes. "Let's get you home. I'll make you some curry and parsnip soup tonight. You look very cold. We'll get you into bed as soon as we get back."

Tomoyo pushed me out in my wheelchair carefully down the front steps of the hospital. Getting me into the car was the difficult bit. Tomoyo tried to heave me out of my chair and be as gentle as she could as my back had been badly hurting as well as my head. Tomoyo folded up my wheelchair and put it in the boot of our car.

Tomoyo gave me my soup as I slightly shivered but the warmth quickly overtook the coldness in my body. My temperature had kept fluctuating from hot to cold but now it just felt like I was shivering all the time. Tomoyo soon helped me in my pyjamas and tucked me into bed. She then got into her own pyjamas and slipped into bed beside me. The warmth of her chest heating me up once more.

"Tomoya, you still remember the promise I made you?"

I woke up. "Oh yeah. I do remember. You wanted to seal a kiss to me for our wedding anniversary?"

Tomoyo nodded. "Yes. And I hadn't seen you for a while since that incident. Do you also know why that was our fulfilment?"

I couldn't figure it out. "Tell me" I said.

Tomoyo leaned closer in to me, listening to my slow and steady heartbeat.

"For my kiss to you was for you to find your love and what your heart tells you to do. You had been sinking so low to the point of not being around anymore, until then you had gone much further, and I took lead and had to take care of you. I'm so glad we made it this far, but somehow it'll have to come to an end."

"Yeah" I murmured softly embracing Tomoyo. "But you will still carry on. Look after Takufumi and Tomo. They both need you. Your promise was to save the sakura trees in aid of your brother. And you kept it, just like you kept your promise to me. When I first met you under the sakura tree, we were laughing and holding hands and then reunited again for our awaited ceremony. For love is what brought us back again. And for me to remember you, you saved me Tomoyo. And I could never forgive myself for what I ever did, all that pain you had to go through, because of me."

Tomoyo sharply turned her head. "Don't say that! You saved _me. _You are the bravest person I've ever known. Takufumi, Tomo, my parents, they all think so. You're so special to this family, even if you feel you don't fit. Takufumi was so upset about Kanako leaving him, but I'm not her. I always said I would stay by your side."

I felt my head slowly nodding and my eyes closing. My breathing was getting low.

"I said I would too. But you may have to let go."

Tomoyo looked at me, tears rolling down her face.

"You can't leave me Tomoya." She said quietly. "What are you going to do in your life?"

I embraced her and kissed her head. "I wish to take you with me. As soon as I reach it. I've done what I needed to do. And I'm happy Tomoyo. Because we both surpassed it. We accomplished our dream. I'll never leave you, for love is always eternal."

Tomoyo smiled and put her hand on mine, giving me a kiss on the lips.

"I love you Tomoya." She whispered, now embracing me even tighter.

"I love you too Tomoyo" I said hoarsely. "Thank you."

I soon dropped from her embrace, my head tilting upwards and my eyes tightly closed.

The dark was no more as I saw a white light up ahead. A dimmed light just fading.

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I tried to make this a bit less depressing but I stuck to the VN with a bit of a twist at the end. Hope you've still got your tissue box ready as you will need them again!

Please leave feedback is possible.


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